About how I was stating there is a spring in my step. Well it is still there, but now there is just a thorn in my side. That thorn comes in the guise of Man Flu.
Man Flu, mans worst enemy since Kane and Abel went at it, yes that’s right I’m saying Man flu is worse than murder. Well OK I admit it, it isn’t. This is what inspired to write about man flu. What is it with Man flu? Why do we (Men) feel so hard done by when he have flu? Why do we feel the need to call it man flu? Why do we even consider it more deadly than...I don’t know…than the Ebola virus?
So here I am sat in work feeling sorry for myself because I basically have a body that aches, a runny nose, sneezing, a sore head and a cough. I mean I can’t be that bad as I’ve gotten up and dragged myself into work and yet I feel the need to whinge about being here and that I’m practically dying despite the fact the evidence says the contrary.
Now I’m no psychologist and if you ever here me utter those words stating that I am you have my permission to call me a bare face liar and report me to the psychologist police. But just maybe, just maybe, we men like to moan/whinge about man flu because we can’t whinge about giving birth and all the other aches and pains women go through. Now I know some men reading this might think I’ve gone all feminist on them and to an extent they’re right. I don’t mind admitting the fact I don’t have to go through giving birth, why any man would? That’s their (Women’s) bag to shoulder and they are welcome to it. If this is the worst it gets for men, I’ll take this anytime. I mean have you seen those TV shows were it shows women giving birth? They don’t exactly look like they’re having a freaking ball!
So basically what I’m saying is that there are far worse ailments out there, not that I’m calling child birth an ailment, but essentially we men need to Man the F*ck Up (MTFU). So on that note I’m going to MTFU with Lemsip, yeah that’s right,I’m cheating but it’ll stop me whinging.
Till next time blog world….
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Thursday 22 March 2012
Dates: An idiots guide
Dates, not as in on this date in 312 AD the Romans left Britain (If that is actually correct I've amazed myself), but dates as in romance, awkwardness, the sly glances across the table or the gentle brush of fingers. That type of date, you with me?
I would never consider myself a coniseur of the date world. I can probably still count the amount of women I've been on dates with on one hand. Now don't think that means I'm some kind of 'Ugo' with a large over bite and a mono brow. Oh no dear reader, I consider myself a handsome chap and it has been confirmed on a few occasions that this is the case. Admittedly all cases involved alcohol and it was dark so they couldn't see my hair. Anyway I digress. So why so few dates? Well I just don't like forcing things. Things should come together naturally and easily. I admit the last date I went on I asked the pretty lady if she did indeed want to go on a date but we kind of were already on a date. I'd love to go into details but some things should remain between two people so you'll have to trust me on this. Anyway the so few dates is due to letting things come naturally together and before you say it no its not lazyness. So onto the the actual guide (wriiten by an idiot):
1. Don't over think things.
Don't fret about what place to go, what to eat. Use the mantra of winging it and everything should fall into place.
2. Choose the Datee (Is that a word I just made up?) wisely.
Don't go asking everyone and anyone. The Dresden tactic (Sorry Germans) is not an efficient tactic. If you're going to ask someone out on a date make sure that they fit at least some of your criterias of your perfect partner. But If you're that hung up about not getting any action ensure they are at above a 5 out of 10 in the looks department. Sheesh, theres no need to tortue yourself.
3. Don't hold back.
If the dates going well make sure that you say it. Don't hold back feelings just say what you're thinking. I admit that you shouldn't really spout out 'have my babies' on the first date. I'd wait till at least six months into the relationship. Jesus.
4. Be yourself.
Relax. Be yourself. If you're dates turned up its a good sign that they may like the person you are. If you're comfotable within yourself you're datee (that word again) will be comfortable.
5. Have fun.
Run round at all times like an idiot. Seriously, if thats how you get your kicks then do it. Although try not to do it with a traffic cone on your head.
So there you have it. A simple five step plan to successful dating. Treat it like the AA twelve step plan and you'll be hunky dory. It works I can assure you. It was successful for me last night. Well I say successful I mean Epic. Epic Date nights are the future. I've seen it, tasted it.
So if you want an Epic date get yourself out in the East End of London with a beautiful lady in tow and wing it. You never know you may just end up drinking Champagne and smoking cigars all night.
Till next time blog world...
I would never consider myself a coniseur of the date world. I can probably still count the amount of women I've been on dates with on one hand. Now don't think that means I'm some kind of 'Ugo' with a large over bite and a mono brow. Oh no dear reader, I consider myself a handsome chap and it has been confirmed on a few occasions that this is the case. Admittedly all cases involved alcohol and it was dark so they couldn't see my hair. Anyway I digress. So why so few dates? Well I just don't like forcing things. Things should come together naturally and easily. I admit the last date I went on I asked the pretty lady if she did indeed want to go on a date but we kind of were already on a date. I'd love to go into details but some things should remain between two people so you'll have to trust me on this. Anyway the so few dates is due to letting things come naturally together and before you say it no its not lazyness. So onto the the actual guide (wriiten by an idiot):
1. Don't over think things.
Don't fret about what place to go, what to eat. Use the mantra of winging it and everything should fall into place.
2. Choose the Datee (Is that a word I just made up?) wisely.
Don't go asking everyone and anyone. The Dresden tactic (Sorry Germans) is not an efficient tactic. If you're going to ask someone out on a date make sure that they fit at least some of your criterias of your perfect partner. But If you're that hung up about not getting any action ensure they are at above a 5 out of 10 in the looks department. Sheesh, theres no need to tortue yourself.
3. Don't hold back.
If the dates going well make sure that you say it. Don't hold back feelings just say what you're thinking. I admit that you shouldn't really spout out 'have my babies' on the first date. I'd wait till at least six months into the relationship. Jesus.
4. Be yourself.
Relax. Be yourself. If you're dates turned up its a good sign that they may like the person you are. If you're comfotable within yourself you're datee (that word again) will be comfortable.
5. Have fun.
Run round at all times like an idiot. Seriously, if thats how you get your kicks then do it. Although try not to do it with a traffic cone on your head.
So there you have it. A simple five step plan to successful dating. Treat it like the AA twelve step plan and you'll be hunky dory. It works I can assure you. It was successful for me last night. Well I say successful I mean Epic. Epic Date nights are the future. I've seen it, tasted it.
So if you want an Epic date get yourself out in the East End of London with a beautiful lady in tow and wing it. You never know you may just end up drinking Champagne and smoking cigars all night.
Till next time blog world...
Wednesday 21 March 2012
It's freaking Spring!
Hello from the train...again.
It's spring folks and I don't care what a certain Groundhog says, it's here, it's queer and it's here to stay.
Anyway, to update my one reader on my bucket list before I'm 30.
Imagine this. Open window, said bucket list flying out of open window in the shape of paper plane.
Why! I hear you all screaming. Well why not? I've gone with my traditional approach to life, winging it! My tombstone would read "Here lies Iain Pye, he winged it a lot". Lists aren't for me and it was written at a time when I was down and out. I mean don't get me wrong I've done some of the things on the list. It's not as if I have an absolute loathing for lists. The bucket list at the time did help me focus, get to places and things that needed doing. For that I am truly grateful for the list and it's co-writers.
If it wasn't for this list I would not have jabbed posh people with a pointy end of a sharp stick and thoroughly enjoyed it. Despite my instructor telling me I have terrible form.
I also wouldn't be going on a two week RV cruise through America with two good friends that I haven't seen in a while.
So to return to my original comment about Spring. Why am I so freaking happy about it? Well Spring means new horizons and that's how I feel at the moment. It's Spring and there is spring in my step. I admit that I'm not exactly going to burst into song at any given moment but I feel like I could.
Whilst on the subject of bursting into spontaneous singing, why don't people do that more often? Surely the world would be a better place for it?
The prospect of turning 30 is no longer daunting for me. If anything it's like Spring. Come on 30 show me what you've got and bring a merry tune.
So if you excuse me I'm off to hum a tune with a spring in my step.
Till next time blog world...
It's spring folks and I don't care what a certain Groundhog says, it's here, it's queer and it's here to stay.
Anyway, to update my one reader on my bucket list before I'm 30.
Imagine this. Open window, said bucket list flying out of open window in the shape of paper plane.
Why! I hear you all screaming. Well why not? I've gone with my traditional approach to life, winging it! My tombstone would read "Here lies Iain Pye, he winged it a lot". Lists aren't for me and it was written at a time when I was down and out. I mean don't get me wrong I've done some of the things on the list. It's not as if I have an absolute loathing for lists. The bucket list at the time did help me focus, get to places and things that needed doing. For that I am truly grateful for the list and it's co-writers.
If it wasn't for this list I would not have jabbed posh people with a pointy end of a sharp stick and thoroughly enjoyed it. Despite my instructor telling me I have terrible form.
I also wouldn't be going on a two week RV cruise through America with two good friends that I haven't seen in a while.
So to return to my original comment about Spring. Why am I so freaking happy about it? Well Spring means new horizons and that's how I feel at the moment. It's Spring and there is spring in my step. I admit that I'm not exactly going to burst into song at any given moment but I feel like I could.
Whilst on the subject of bursting into spontaneous singing, why don't people do that more often? Surely the world would be a better place for it?
The prospect of turning 30 is no longer daunting for me. If anything it's like Spring. Come on 30 show me what you've got and bring a merry tune.
So if you excuse me I'm off to hum a tune with a spring in my step.
Till next time blog world...
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